Why Listening and Learning Helps You Close More Deals

When trying to sell something, most people think they need to talk a lot about their product or service.

But the truth is, listening and asking great questions is the real secret to success.

By letting customers share their thoughts, you can make them feel good, understand their needs, and build stronger relationships.

Asking the right questions can lead to a triple win in business development:

1. People Feel Good When They Talk About Themselves

Scientists have found that when people share personal thoughts, a part of their brain called the pleasure center lights up.

It gives them the same happy feeling as eating their favorite food or drinking an energy drink.

2. You Learn What They Care About

Instead of guessing what your customer wants, you can ask them directly.

When they tell you their priorities in their own words, you can respond with how your product or service solves their problem.

3. People Like You More When They Talk More

The more someone talks about themselves, the more they like the person who is listening. By asking good questions, you build trust and connection.

How to Ask the Right Questions

To get these benefits, you need to ask specific, thoughtful questions.

Here are some tips:

→ Ask Questions Only They Can Answer

Instead of asking general questions, ask something that makes them think. For example:

“If you could change one big thing in your business, what would it be?”
“If you could improve one important number (like sales, customer happiness, or efficiency), which one would it be?”
“If we fixed a broken process in your company, what would success look like?”

These questions make the other person think deeply and share valuable insights.

→ Do Your Homework

Before your meeting, research the person and their company. This helps you ask smarter questions that show you care and understand their situation.

→ The Biggest Mistake to Avoid

One of the biggest sales mistakes is talking too much about yourself. Many people start with long PowerPoint presentations, listing all their services.

But if the customer isn’t interested in most of it, they stop paying attention.

Instead, let them talk first. When they mention a problem, you can respond with:

“That’s exactly what we help with!”

This way, you connect your solution to their needs instead of just listing features.

Want to Learn More?

This idea is backed by science. Researcher Dr. Diana Tamir found that self-disclosure (talking about yourself) creates a natural “high.”

If you want to dive deeper, check out my book Give to Grow, which goes more in depth on how to ask great questions.

So next time you’re in a meeting, try asking better questions. You might be surprised at how much it helps you close the deal.

Thanks for reading!