Three Mental Traps To Avoid

By Mo Bunnell

What's On My Mind

I've been thinking a lot about mindset lately.

I got a great question this week...

What holds people back?

What mindsets do people have that get in the way of winning business and deepening relationships?​

I've realized three big barriers pop to the top, whether people realize them or not:

  1. I can't do what ___ does.
  2. I'm too busy.
  3. I can't do ___ because ___.

​Let's take these three personal objections in order.

I can't do what ___ does.

This usually comes out in a person comparing themselves to someone already great, typically years farther along in their journey.

This is just plain wrong.

The science of expertise debunks it, and here's my favorite deep dive into the subject.

​All complex skills are learned and earned, and the process of Deliberate Practice speeds things up.

​Listen, I'm not saying everyone has the same upper limit, but I am saying everyone can improve.

​Work hard at getting better at BD, and you'll get better at BD.

​It's that simple.

We find what we seek.

I'm too busy.

​This one is wrong too.

​We have advantages when we're busy, including access and insights.

​Access –> We have access to clients and can ask for things in the future, even if we're busy helping them now. We can introduce them to our colleagues.

The access won't last forever, so we need to leverage it to maximize our future helpfulness.

Insights –> We know what's on the client's mind. We know the most cutting-edge things.

There's a short half-life to what's top of mind with our clients, so we need to have a sense of urgency to help them.

Ideas to leverage being busy:

(Hope you like that made-up word, un-slammed. It made me smile.)

​Asking for a future meeting after the project is over will take 30 days.

Asking for it during the project will take 30 seconds.

When we're busy, a little goes a long way.

I can't do ___ because ___.


Notice how extremely worded these beliefs are.

The word can't is strong.

One thing's at the root of all these examples: fear.

Fear of trying something new.

​Fear of trying again.

Fear of rejection.

​I see one thing in common with all successful experts and rainmakers.


​They keep adding value. They have true and helpful intent. They're authentic.

​They keep proactively being helpful, never stopping, disconnecting themselves from the outcome.

Fall down 7 times, get up 8.

​Let me close with a request.

I could really use your help.

I'm trying to catalog a list of all the personal objections that get in the way of someone acting. We've got 3 listed above, but I know there are a lot more.

​Can you reply back with anything you see? Anything at all.

​I'd love to create a database of these personal objections, the things that stand in our way of success.

​I'll share what I learn in a future article.

​One thing's for sure.

​When it comes to successfully growing a book of business, relationships and a career, it's usually not the competition we have to worry about.

It's the lies we are telling ourselves.


​ps. Seriously, I'd love to hear any objections you've felt yourself or that you've heard from others. Just hit reply and shoot 'em to me!

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